Dating your ex wife after divorce
” My friend and I were sitting side by side on folding canvas chairs, both wrapped in fleece, both clutching steaming cups of coffee at a way-too-early Saturday soccer game last fall. ” Soccer Pal asked, so incredulous that I momentarily wondered if the news had been posted on the township Facebook page: “There was a burglary on Virginia Avenue. Leaf pickup starts on Friday the 3rd.” I’d just seen them together at Dunkin’ Donuts, all of them, including the four kids. A few days after soccer, I saw Kristen in the deli at Wegmans and beelined my cart over to hers. “I’m so sorry.” “Yeah, it’s been about six months.” “Really? he’ll officially move out.” I didn’t want to be meddlesome and ask the obvious question: If you split but you don’t actually split, isn’t that the equivalent of, um, marriage? I’m not quite sure.” “Wow,” I said, nodding my head as if their arrangement was totally ordinary, as if I’d had the very same conversation with three other moms in the bakery aisle minutes before. He takes the kids every Wednesday and every other weekend. No one periodically sleeps on the other person’s couch. ” I asked him one weekend as we drove to visit some college friends.
As seems to be required in such circumstances, we were chirping about people we knew. I recalled jolly laughter and the aura of bona fide togetherness-ness. Instead, I blurted out a far less invasive query: “Are you dating? I couldn’t help thinking that Kristen and Bill had to be the healthiest, most progressive, most selfless parents on the face of this earth. Whenever I imagine my divorce—and I imagine my divorce roughly once a week, typically when I find a beer glass soaking in the sink again, as if beer glasses into the dishwasher—it does not look like Kristen’s at all. I was pretty certain that Thad, too, imagined our divorce roughly once a week, typically after I found a beer glass soaking in the sink and proceeded to lecture him for 45 minutes on how I have to do “I’m not sure I get it,” he said finally.
As most divorced adults eventually resume a social life, dating enters the picture.
What bothers me is that he talks to her more than he talks to any of his other friends. More than anything else, I'm hearing that you are afraid of all the "what if's" associated with your fiancé in this relationship. Is there an underlying feeling of distrust there that is building up inside of you? Even though she has decided to wait a few years until her daughter is grown to reenter the dating scene, she's confused about how to proceed."When Madaline is out of the house I want to date, but I don't know how." Samantha has been divorced for only a year, but would like to start dating again even though her two boys are still in elementary school.If you've been divorced, there's no getting around dealing with ex-spouses, especially if you have children.This can be a hot button issue not only for the spouses that got divorced, but also for their new partners in life.
It’s hard to definitively say why this is, but the general belief is that mom is often considered the primary caretaker and is thus expected to maintain the status quo.